ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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