ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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