You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I stole a fireplace last night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
