Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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