Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
