I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
