thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
