Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
as a side note pls kill me
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
