I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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