I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
