I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
