My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have aggressive nipples.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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