I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize