Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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