All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
