New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
