i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
