I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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