after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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