Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
