And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
