you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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