I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
