too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize