Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
