We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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