Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
