i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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