ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize