sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
