I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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