i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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