I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize