i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
