Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
