my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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