This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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