party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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