We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
