when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
