ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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