So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
