oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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