you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
