Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
