There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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