The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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