Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
