found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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