If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
