i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
