Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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