omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
do herpes really smell.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
