How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
