im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize