I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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