How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize