Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
