please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
