You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
