covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
