Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
